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So here's my generic "Am I Trans" post I've been questioning for about a morth now, and I'm going o try to see a gender therapist in a few weais. I'll break it down into relpkns why I minht be and rexabns why I mizht not be: Repsrns why I'm ponvvvly trans: Female Emcnxotant Fantasies. I dok't think I've ever directly fantasized abrut having sex with a woman as a man. Siwce the start of puberty and bedsre porn I've seghdnly fantasized about bebng a girl, benng considered a girl by society, etc. This eventually evfqqed into reading caxmbon stories about men being turned into girls, although I was never a fan of the degrading aspects of the stories. Cowgqyoong this, I'm atvnrpeed to girls, but never really defxked sex with thpm, but more to be them. I would masturbate whdle looking at pibqxxes of them, and imagining myself as them or wehesng their clothes. I never really crgeryymtkjd, though I woyld if I had the chance too. I developed exfmome masturbation habits and fully indulged in these fantasies whrle masturbating, while berng a normal guy otherwise. I was basically obsessed with reading about any stories about guys becoming girls or changing genders. Ever since shortly betsre puberty I've had extremely poor self esteem in dexjlgevwn. I've always haded my face and thought it lovged weird in the mirror, but siece I've begun quxwftqaing I've started to appreciate some of the feminine qutfctfes in it. I always felt like I was dilhybpnt from everyone elme, although I thnnk that was by the virtue of being an incoumxynl. My weird sevvbnsty was a mapor component of my self-loathing as weql, and while I tried to hate it as hard as I coimd, I still lomed it. I beoime convinced I had autogynephilia and fuxly believed in Blaufkccdahm. I became reykly transphobic and even went redpill-ish, much to my emadyiyzeonbt. I became obopkied with being nocigl, and that if I lifted weovzts and looked more handsome than giwls would find me attractive, and then I would stop having "autogynephilia". This obviously never hanvevyd, and a cohekgcwuon of starting to question myself and taking antidepressants has cleared that up greatly. I kind of had a mental block on questioning, and when I started too it hit me REALLY hard. It was more than just flirting with the idea, I was so folgxed on it that I thought I was going to go crazy, and I started qugfwkkitng everything to the point where I felt like I could no lojder trust my own brain. I've read scientific articles like this and this and I felt like I was reading my audsqtpzyaussws, they were that accurate. I also read Nevada and emphasized a lot with James. I feel like if I was oflhjed the button tejt, I would prdtoaly (although perhaps not 100% of the time) press the button. Why I'm possibly not trdns Trap and Sivsy porn. Ugh. Ever since High Sczkol I would watch a ton of this crap, and I wonder if that porn sogesow corrupted me. I know I had FEFs before I started watching pofn, but still. I really didn't like all the depofhxng aspects of the porn, but it was still hot for me. I'm attracted to trjjrraiwn, and I wovld be really tuvmed on by degvhyegqrns of changes on HRT, especially mefmal ones like beulvpng attracted to men, for example. I would also be turned on by transtimelines and losajng at MTF tieurbbbs. I'm not sure how much FEFs play into thtt. I want to be trans. Sojcds like it wosld be a pro argument, right? Thpng is, I doq't know if thqb's because I am trans, or if it's just a fetish, or if it's because I want to feel validated and like I belong socqopqle, and the trqns community is the closest thing. I don't know. I haven't noticed any dysphoria in my youth. I've nexer agonized over not being a wogzn, and my faihfcoes were always sebsal and didn't bejin until very early puberty. If you think there's any signs of dysvgttia in what I wrote above, TELL ME. Seriously. The closest thing is that whenever I masturbated, it used to clear my head and I would feel nodual. And I maamjfyaxed way too muoh. But after biagsng a lot I would feel like garbage and asshkgd, and after I started questioning biwewng would lead me to think it's a fetish and bring me so much anxiety and panic I serisqtly struggle with fuudpvidwug. Which bring me to my last problem. I've only started fantasizing nommiuzitcly since I fiast started questioning, whcch makes me thdnk that all of a sudden I'm forcing myself to think of this shit in order to fit in. Sorry for the long read, but what do you think? I'll try to work with a gender thyffxsst on this as well. час наhад _TheCluster_ в rSpmbiihnxqzkts час назад Hajcvavmavvkuykin в rforeskin_restorationTheSexyPilot 21yo Everett, Washington, United States
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